How to Gain Weight and be Fat

The anti-diet for those tired of being healthy and mobile

There are tons of resources available via television, the internet, and media on ways to lose weight and stay in shape. Gurus giving advice, yoga instructors bending and posing, personal assistants, fitness instructors, and of course Keto diets and intermittent fasting by Millenials. All guiding and molding people into a healthier skinnier you. That’s great!

Who is inspiring those of us who hope to sit on our couch wearing soiled track pants and t-shirts with ice cream stains watching Netflix and laughing at the Kardashians and reality stars on The Real Housewives of (place terrible American city here)? Sure there is Jack Black, Mellisa McCarthy, and John Goodman to look up to but recently some of our best people have switched over. Jonah Hill, Ethan Suplee, Adele, and Rebel Wilson, all poster children for our cause have now abandoned us for Kale and pilates.

So that is where I hope to provide some much-needed guidance. A strict anti-diet if you will. The following are some tips on how to let obesity flow over you like caramel over french vanilla ice cream.

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