Living With My Demons

Destroying the path I have so delicately built Telling me that this is not for me That I can’t do this I will always have demons There will always be half-dead stories, fears and pain Chasing me…

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LeBron James Ruined My Life

NBA 2K19 20th Anniversary cover athlete and world-crusher, LeBron James

Jonny Daggers is 6 foot 7 inches, 220-odd pounds, and flies through the air in a way that would make “Mike” want to be like him.

In his debut season, “Daggers” led the Portland Trail Blazers to their first NBA Championship since 1977. Individually he took home honors as Rookie of the Year, Defensive Player of the Year, as well as both regular season and NBA Finals Most Valuable Player.

He was unstoppable.

In an unprecedented move, Daggers left Portland after the season in hopes of singlehandedly returning the New York Knicks to prominence after lackluster performances, failed experiments, and ultimately decades of pure disappointment. He did just that.

The Knicks won 36 of their first 38 games and sat alone atop the Eastern Conference to start the season. Daggers averaged nearly 40 points per game over this stretch. He remained the easy favorite for MVP, and the Knicks looked like they could make their first NBA Finals appearance since 1999.

Daggers and the Knicks were set to travel to Los Angeles just before the All-Star Break to take on LeBron James and the Lakers.

If you haven’t caught on by now, Jonny Daggers is not real. He exists only as a “MyPlayer” created character in NBA 2K19 on Xbox One. In actuality, the Trail Blazers still long for a championship run. James Harden looks like the real MVP favorite once again. And the Knicks linger in the basement of the NBA standings, fighting (read as “tanking”) for the number one pick in the upcoming 2019 NBA Draft.

NBA 2K19 MyCareer gives you control of an NBA wannabe. Build your pro. Tailor his height, position, and special abilities to your liking. Choose a team that fits your desired skill set. Fight for minutes in the team’s rotation. Achieve accolades and sponsorships, on and off the court. The progression system is a grind, yet rewarding. It is the NBA 2K experience at its fullest.

MyPlayer, Jonny Daggers, is the best version I’ve created over years and years of NBA 2K installments. His high-flying, uber-athletic slasher abilities makes for extremely fun gameplay full of Blake Griffin like posterizing dunks, Kyrie Irving-esque acrobatic layups, and overall Hall of Fame worthy talents in all aspects of the game. He’s too big and strong for guards like Devin Booker to contest or score on. But too fast and skilled against forwards like Ben Simmons. I leave utter devastation in my wake. I never lose, or at least, very rarely when playing against the computer. But this time was different.

LeBron James is every bit as dominant in NBA 2K19 as he is in real life. The player that has been to eight consecutive NBA Finals, holds the highest rating in 2K19 with an overall of 98. He is a force. Touted as an “All-Around Superstar,” there is nothing LeBron can’t do. Leave him open for 3, and he splashes the free look. Guard him tightly, watch as he barrels by to the rim, likely for an “and-one” finish. His lockdown defense smothers would-be attackers on the perimeter and erases shots inside the paint. Every rebound that bounces off the rim belongs to him, and with the ball in his hands, each teammate on the court becomes a bigger threat to score than when he takes his short breaks on the bench. Did you forget whether I’m talking about real-life LeBron or the 2K version? It doesn’t matter because they all apply to both. The game is so real that all of the incredible actions that LeBron does in real life are just as incredible in-game. The impossible becomes the norm with him, something that often gets lost when “witnessing” King James play.

But why would that scare me? I had Jonny Daggers. No one has stopped me before, and no one will stop me now. Or so I thought.

Chase-down blocks, rim-destroying dunks, needle-threading passes all picked apart MyPlayer’s first place Knicks. With every move I tried to get open, LeBron shadowed me. Every defensive possession, I got torched by the bigger, faster James. I didn’t know what to do. My only hope was to defer to my teammates and let them battle the computer versions of Lonzo Ball and Kyle Kuzma.

Finally LeBron rested. Brandon Ingram stood no chance against Daggers. I did whatever I wanted to do, zooming up and down the court doing everything possible to bring my team closer to the Lakers while James sat on the bench. This pattern continued for the next half hour. LeBron ate my lunch. Took a breather. Daggers sprinted around the floor to even the score. LeBron would come back in and pick up where he left off. My Knicks eventually tied the game up late in the 4th quarter. I knew I was gassed (as shown by the Gatorade icon next to my name) and LeBron, of course, had fresh legs. I couldn’t drive. I couldn’t shoot. I couldn’t pass. Yet, we battled. I kept it close and gave my team a chance to win. It was our ball, tied at 70, with one possession left to go.

Then this happened.

A one-armed interception of a backdoor look and a full court heave to beat the buzzer. My spirits were crushed in the matter of 5 seconds. The Lakers won 73–70 behind James’ 24 points, 10 rebounds, 8 assists, and the shot of a lifetime. I sat in silence.

I felt anger. I wanted to throw my controller out of my window. I felt sadness. I wanted to cry for letting my teammates down and failing when they needed me most. I felt something I had never felt before. I felt mortal. Before when playing MyCareer, everything went my way. I was in control of everything. I determined the outcome. Now this wasn’t the case and I didn’t know how to react. I considered never playing NBA 2K, the game I loved most, ever again.

LeBron James ruined my life. Well, maybe not my life, but he ruined Jonny Daggers’ life.

After about an hour of being mad and feeling lost, I (of course) decided I would play NBA 2K again. I’ll regain control. That mortal feeling that LeBron left inside me will fade away with more games played. I’ll go back to smashing opponents. I’ll swish step-back threes, throw down alley-oops, and win endless awards and championships. But I won’t do any of this with Jonny Daggers. His career ended on that January night in Los Angeles. His soul ripped apart by something that made me feel so insignificant and unimportant. His world, destroyed, and all of its potential storylines, lost forever. I was no different or better than any of the other pixelated athletes on screen. We were all the same, except for one of us.

When 2K20 comes out, I’ll inevitably have to create another character. Maybe a different player type. Maybe a different position. Or maybe I’ll just switch to Madden.

Anything to get me away from LeBron James.

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