A New Chapter Awaits.

Four deaths. One month. One family. November is difficult. All four of my grandparents died this month — during different years thank goodness.

This story isn’t supposed to be macabre or sad, but in case you’re wondering my mom’s mom passed on from colon cancer November 11th, 1986. I never got to meet her, but I’ve heard so many stories about her that I feel as if I’ve known her. Plus I’ve been told I look a lot like her. Next, was my mom’s brother Gary from cancer (though, try as I might I can’t remember what kind) on December 16th, 1998. I was 7 years old. I only have a few memories of him, but he was a good man and I know he loved my brothers and I as much as any uncle can love their niece and nephews. Then, my father’s father from kidney disease (as well as as series of heart attacks) on November 6th 2005. I was 15 years old. Next, my father’s mother passed away from, Alzheimer’s disease on November 16th, 2010. Last, my mother’s father from dementia on November 23rd, 2013. The last two hit me hard because I was 19 and 22 respectively, close to each of them and I was there when both died.

On a happier note, last week I began the process of getting ready to move across the country by selling a couch my boyfriend and I will be unable to take with us. We will move to Michigan this coming January.

Today, my cemetery tour was about honoring the anniversaries of their deaths, but also to say goodbye and to take the chance to tell them that I love and miss them and that I hope they’re proud of me.

To some, this may seem silly. If you believe in Christianity God should be able to hear you anywhere. Therefore so should your loved ones in Heaven, right? While this may be true, I grew up going with my mom to visit my grandmother’s grave on holidays, her birthday and the anniversary of her passing. While there, we would talk to her as if she could hear us. So, I felt I had to make the 60 mile journey to tell my loved ones these things, plus I wanted to visit their grave sites one last time.

When I got home, I continued to prepare by cleaning out a broken cabinet that will be thrown away. There’s countless things I still have to do within the next month and three weeks. I have to pack away my clothes, go through everything I own and decide what will make the 2,000+ mile trek with us and what will be given away. I have to get rid of our bed and basically anything and everything that cannot fit in the trunk or backseat of each of our four door, four cylinder cars. I have to submit my leave and transfer paperwork to my boss at work.

But today was a day to remember and a day of goodbyes. Many goodbyes will be coming within the next 7 weeks. But I prefer not to think of them as goodbyes, more as see you laters and I’ll miss yous until I see you again. I know a new chapter in my life awaits, and I can’t wait to see what it brings my way.

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