UNDEFINED RELATIONSHIPS

After lunch we sat and talked for a while,exchanged numbers and went our separate ways. The next few weeks were bliss, for me anyways. Regular conversations,lunch and evening outings,it really felt good to have someone to talk to besides friends. Considering the fact that I’d just broken free from a toxic partner,being happy didn’t seem like a bad idea,my instincts just wanted happiness and peace,I deserved it, I thought.

We grew closer,so close that we did most things together,then came the intimate pleasures that just made everything seem perfect. On weekends,I’d go over and make variety of dishes,we’d see a movie or two,cuddle and sleep off without knowing how much time had passed. This feeling of intense happiness,I wanted to last forever,but then sometimes when my friends and family inquired, where and who I’ve been spending my weekends and free time with. Sometimes I’d say ‘a close friend’ other times I’d say ‘my boyfriend’. What were we really?

After over a year of undisturbed sleep and a mind free of thoughts. I started thinking of how best to introduce the question,keeping it in mind that this inquiry was either going to ‘build or destroy’ what we already had. But what did we have really?

I slowly withdrew from the ‘friendship’, while trying to understand where I’d gone wrong,and then I realised that I was so carried away with the fact that I’d just met someone new,I spoke about my interests,present life,my past relationships and he consoled me,exactly how I needed. The most important question of what are we ‘getting into’ never really came up and I ended up getting entangled in so much pleasure that I fabricated what I felt we should be.

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